A letter to my Girlfriend Mom daughter, in celebration of graduating college—
It’s hackneyed and cliche but, where did the time go? Where is that seemingly surefooted, 13-year old dark haired girl, who sat in the passenger seat of her mother’s car in the driveway, craning her neck to catch a glimpse of her father’s new girlfriend?
I am so glad that I was that girlfriend because you have changed my life. You’ve enriched it, and my heart has expanded, in a way that I never knew possible. Watching you grow, and evolve, into a funny, smart, stunning, and curious, young woman, has been a crazy cool ride.
My dear graduate, this is an exciting time, with all that is in front of you; endless possibilities, and just as many opportunities, waiting for you to grab hold. It can be scary— uncertainty, confusion, and choruses of, “What do I do now?” will surely ring in your ears from time to time. What I can tell you is this; just do— simple, not always easy.
In case you hit a pothole and have trouble doing, perhaps these gems will comfort you and get you moving on your life’s journey.
Learn the art of listening.
Only when we do things that hurt a little, or make us a little uncomfortable, do we receive the good juju.
Keep moving your body.
Know when being selfish is healthy.
Fiber is your friend.
You will not learn by taking the easy way out— of anything.
Be kind to yourself and kill the naysayers with kindness.
Never stop learning.
Your words have meaning, choose them wisely.
A sexy mind is a sexy woman.
Unplug, unwind and quiet the chatter.
Think outside of the box. On second thought, don’t put yourself in a box in the first place.
No tanning beds.
Forgive because you won’t ever forget.
Remember the old folks; respect them, for you too, my beauty, will be old one day.
Nobody can tell you what is right for you. That burden, and yes, at times it will feel like a burden, lies within you alone. Suggestions will be made, opinions offered, but it will always be up to you.
Ask for help. People will show up, as will the universe. Pretending doesn’t make you smarter.
Don’t accept explanations as whole truths from people just because they have a business card. Question everything and do your own vetting.
Explore, and travel. These will be the experiences that mold you, influence you and identify you. “Traveling reminds us who we forgot to be.” —Anonymous, on a bathroom wall in Berlin, Germany.
Indulge in any idea, peoples, culture, gadget, or philosophy, that even remotely interests you. It will broaden you in ways that you cannot imagine.
Take chances and risks. Have certainty that there will be someone, (it just might be you) or something, to catch you. I’ll always be on call.
Don’t ignore the quiet voice that emanates from your gut. It holds great power and it will never let you down. It’s your intuition and instinct. It may not be what you want to hear, but be courageous and listen to what it is saying.
Don’t let fear paralyze you. Bravery is acting in the face of fear, making friends with it and moving past it.
Share yourself, and your talents, with others. Give back and give often.
Don’t spend too much time worrying, or contemplating your navel. It goes by too fast.
It’s okay to change your mind. Walk a road that you hadn’t envisioned, and then, when you are ready, make a sharp left, and take that road.
Keep your heart and mind open. You will find it, although it may not look like what you had pictured in your mind. You may find that there’s more than one it.
The quicker you can distinguish between what you can control, and what you cannot, the happier and lighter you will feel.
Surround yourself with positive people and let the others gently fall away. Don’t count people out. Sometimes they will surprise you. Gather those around you that will assist you on your path; those that support and encourage need only apply.
Life is messy, complicated, unfair, and it owes you nothing. You will falter, fail and flail. You’ll make questionable choices. Your mettle will be tested. It’s what you do afterwards that matters. Remember, it’s only a test and it can’t hurt you.
Never excuse rudeness, disrespect, or bad behavior.
Don’t save things for a rainy day, or the perfect time. They don’t exist. Wear the new dress, tell someone that you love them, answer the email. I love you.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror every day. Be sure that you can smile at the person looking back at you.
People are doing the best that they can (most of them anyway), be patient with those that aren’t as capable as you are.
It will always be more challenging, the closer you are to your goal; to your light, to your truth. The universe wants to be sure you are ready. I have no doubt that you will be.
And if you still can’t do, I’ve carried these quotes with me for most of my adult life. They’ve always brought me a certain peace. My desire is that they do the same for you.
We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. —Joseph Campbell
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. —Dale Carnegie
I am safe; it’s only change. I cross all bridges with joy and ease. The ‘old’ unfolds into wonderful new experiences. My life gets better all the time. — Louise Hays
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. — Hilary Cooper
Neglect nothing that can make you great. (Eugene Delacroix)
Nobody is going to save you, that’s your job. Save yourself. If you don’t like where you are, get out of there. The object is not for them to like you, the object is for them to listen to you. Nobody knows what you want expect you and nobody will be as sorry as you if you don’t get it. Wanting some other way to live is proof enough of deserving it. Having it is hard work, but not having it is sheer hell. —Lillian Hellman (partial)
A relationship is an expression of the soul’s yearning to unify forces to push us forward in our spiritual understanding and mutual assistance in paying the debts of our tikune. (correction)—Kabbalah
When you travel, you experience, in a very practical way, the act of rebirth. You confront completely new situations, the day passes more slowly, and on most journeys you don’t even understand the language the people speak. So you are like a child just out of the womb. You begin to attach much more importance to the things around you because your survival depends upon them. You begin to be more accessible to others because they may be able to hep you in difficult situations. And you accept any small favor from the gods with great delight, as if it were an episode you would remember for the rest of your life.— The Pilgrimage, Paulo Coehlo
T- is it TRUE
H- is it HELPFUL
I- is it INSPIRING
N- is it NECESSARY
K- is it KIND
—Unknown original source
My adorable beauty, I only wish that I could spare you the heartache, tears, and bad juju, that intrinsically comes with this thing called life. But alas I cannot. It is the only way for you to become a self realized and authentic individual.
Don’t ever lose your silliness, vulnerability or innocence. They can co-exist happily alongside your strength, resilience and maturity.
Have wondrous adventures with the knowledge that you are so very loved.
Always, Your GM xoxxo