MISS PIGGY and KERMIT CALL IT QUITS

Liam and MissPiggy

Liam and Miss Piggy

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past month, or obsessing over the possibility of a President Trump, or the rollercoaster ride the stock market is taking us all on, I must inform you that Miss Piggy and Kermit have called it quits.

I know, I was just as upset. Sure they had their problems, but what passionate couple doesn’t? Sure he’s an Amphibian and she’s a mammal. Yes, he’s tailless, and she’s what the Jewish people might call, dirty, and non-kosher. But they were fun to watch, and they had that Je ne sais quoi.

It seems that every other day a celebrity couple’s relationship goes into the crapper, or someone you know; a friend, or family member, is divorcing, but the Muppets? Why? Now where are my role models going to come from? Are my parents, whose 52 years and counting, (Happy Anniversary by the way) are all that’s left?! Who’s next, Bert and Ernie?

I suppose we’re all the same; muppets and humans alike. The  muppets are simply mirroring us mortals, and this could not have been truer when the entertainment rags reported that Kermit had already found a new pig; a pig with auburn hair.

Oh, Kermit, why so soon? Miss Piggy’s snout wasn’t even warm, and you’ve leap frogged onto another. Miss Piggy had barely left the barn, and Kermit had started dating Denise, a younger, 25, and thinner pig. Kermit is 60 years old, and Missy Piggy is only 41. I suppose 20 years just wasn’t young enough.

When Kermit sang, “It’s Not Easy Being Green,” I fell in love with his vulnerability and sensitivity. I thought that he and Miss Piggy would be forever. What a hard lesson to learn.

I still have hope, however, because a life without it, isn’t a life worth living. Miss Piggy and Kermit have broken up before, so perhaps they’ll find each other again.

Lest anyone think that Miss Piggy is curled up in a fetal position on the kitchen floor of her sty, she’s not. She’s been spotted out with, non other than hunky hunk, Liam Hemsworth. Croak on that Kermit.

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