Permitting Teenage Sleepovers: PART II

images-1I love when people comment on my posts. And this one seemed to have hit a nerve, which I also love. I didn’t think that there would be such a wide array of opinions on the question; “Would you allow your teenage daughter, or son, to sleep in the same room as their boyfriend or girlfriend, in your home?”

The comments that surprised me the most were those that through my living situation up in my face. I live with my boyfriend (in sin) so why shouldn’t the same hold true for the Girlfriend Mom teenager? Really? This is the same? Not to me. To me, there is a huge ass difference between a 40-year old adult and an 18-year old teenager. Parent. Child. My house. My rules.

But as I thought more about it, an interesting question arose. What is the cut-off? When do parents consider their teenagers adults? And when do parents start treating their teenagers like an adult? When do parents allow their child and his or her significant other to sleep in the same bedroom, if ever? I wondered how much of it came down to values, morals, rules, or good old personal preference.

When I took on the role of Girlfriend Mom, I came to the party knowing absolutely nothing about parenting, and I had absolutely nothing to compare it to. I have been flying by the seat of my Athleta yoga pants since day one. The above situation is no different. I listen to my gut, as it’s all that I have, and for the most part, it has served me well. I believe that there will come a day when I’ll be comfortable with my Girlfriend Mom daughter sleeping in the same room with her boyfriend (or girlfriend) but it won’t be for any other reason than, time has done its job.

Read original post here with the interesting comments

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Permitting Teenage Sleepovers: PART II

  1. Tammi

    I see where you’re coming from and I don’t know if you realize this but the tone of your point of view is so harsh; you’re coming off as the evil stepmom. Obviously, this is just one small perspective of your home life and I’m sure you’re truly a wonderful woman to your boyfriend’s kid(s?) But as I read this I can’t help but think “Geez cool down you don’t have to parent with an ironclad fist!!”

    1. DaniAlpertDaniAlpert Post author

      Hi Tammi and thanks for commenting. It’s interesting that you found the tone harsh. I’m a comedy writer, so if this was the first piece of mine that you have read, I can see where you might take it as harsh. However, if you’re up to it, surf around my site and I think that you’ll better understand my sense of humor. Thanks again.

  2. Laura@Catharsis

    Teenagers are adults when they no longer live in your house under your rules. And when they’re adults, they’re still susceptible to your rules when in your house. I can tell you, even though I lived with my boyfriend (now husband) in my early 20s, when we visited the parents, we slept in different rooms. And damn right we should have. We didn’t when the parents came to visit us. Our house, our rules. But I’d be damned if I argued with his or my parents house rules when it came to sleepy time.

    1. DaniAlpertDaniAlpert Post author

      Finally, a woman with some sense. Why is this so difficult for people to understand? It has nothing to do with, “Well, they’re going to do it anyway.” That’s a friggin’ parental cop-out. Thank you for expert opinion.

  3. Michelle

    No way in hell I would have let my teenage kids do that. Once they have moved out, that is a different story. They are adult and they live with partners so when they visit, I don’t require separate rooms. You have to set boundaries as a parent because kids, even though they argue against it, will appreciate that. It teaches them how to properly parent. Good job mom!

    1. DaniAlpertDaniAlpert Post author

      Thank you Michelle. I couldn’t agree with you more. Boundaries! And of course kids will argue or even dislike you in the moment and that’s okay. I hear a lot that parents give in because they either want to be friends with their kids (whole other post) or they can’t bare their child being made at them OR they throw their hands up because it’s easier to keep your head down. Thanks again for stopping by.

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