Would you go to a Matchmaker?
I jumped at the chance to interview a friend’s acquaintance, who happens to be a professional Matchmaker in the city of 8.4 million. What I don’t do for material.
I met Roxy (not her real name) in her office, which was a converted bedroom, in a two-bedroom apartment, that she shared with another business. The reception area was in the hallway separating the two offices (bedrooms).
We exchanged a few pleasantries, I went to the restroom, and we got down to business. This meant a deluge of questions, hurled at me at supersonic speed. It felt more like I was taking a test that was being timed.
Some of the questions stumped me like, “What would you say are your best qualities?” Uh, there are so many, how do I choose? “What are your top five must haves that you want in a match?” Uh, only 5? The whole thing was painful and exhausting.
She asked me what age group I preferred. I wasn’t really thinking, nor did I really care, so I said the first thing that came to my mind. “Breathing?”
She asked me what an acceptable minimum salary requirement for a potential match. This was a problem. I never thought in those terms. I was, and am, more concerned with what my acceptable minimum salary requirement for myself. I thought I’d have some fun with her, so I said, “$500,000.” I think she burped in her mouth. What? If she was the Millionaire Matchmaker, she would’ve laughed at half a million.
The questions continued and then she proceeded to tell me her rules for a first date. I wasn’t allowed to get drunk. This wasn’t a problem. The date had to be short, as in one drink or a cup of coffee. The shorter the better, I say. Don’t have sex on the first date. Now that may be a problem. She didn’t think that was funny.
She prefaced her next question with, “I’m not sure how to ask this but… is there any type of ethnicity that you wouldn’t date? African American? Asian?” Was this a test? Her Asian assistant was sitting right across from me. I didn’t think that telling her that I’d never been attracted to Asians was helpful. Besides, it don’t like to say never and I didn’t want Roxy putting me in a box. I shook my head in a some vague way.
She reviewed my responses and suggested that I have some wiggle room regarding my minimum salary preference. How else was I going to weed out the undesirables? I thought she would’ve appreciated my specificity.
Roxy saved the best for last. Her nebulous services came with a $7,500 price tag. And that was just for 3 months. Now some may see it as a bargain; we’re talking about finding love after all, but from where I was sitting, that $7,500 could pay for a lot of Pole classes.
Thanks anyway Roxy. I’m more of an organic gal when it comes to love.