The NOTMOM SUMMIT 2015, Cleveland OH • October 9-10, 2015. Dating in the Real World Saturday, October 10 • 10:30am – 11:45am.  



MovieReviews“Dani Alpert’s A Really Intimate Portrait…Of a complete unknown, offered herself as the subject of Lifetime’s gushingly soft-focus Intimate Portrait series, which does for women what VH-1’s Behind the Music does for rock stars: offer hour long bios that slavishly follow the formula of 1) Be born; 2) Grow up struggling. 3) Realize your dream. 4) Endure a crisis that jeopardizes that dream. 5) Emerge triumphant.  Alpert’s spoof dragged on a bit (proper tone in a parody is notoriously hard to maintain), but she caught the tone of the Lifetime series dead-on, and the friends she recruited to talk about her not-so-famous life (most of them struggling Hollywood actors themselves) were a scream.  Alpert may not be famous, but she is funny, and that’s enough.” — Chris Kaltenbach October 2007 Baltimore Sun

“Comedian Dani Alpert offers a truly inspired takeoff on Lifetime’s Intimate Portrait series, one with shades of that giant of all mockumentaries, Spinal Tap. Ms. Alpert, a sitcom writer and standup comedian, was a longtime fan of the genre, she said, until one day she happened to see an Intimate Portrait was scheduled to air on someone called Lauralee Bell.  It was, according to her, the final straw — Who was Lauralee Bell and what had she done to earn this honor when Ms. Alpert had yet to be immortalized?  Enraged, she was moved to create her very own intimate portrait, complete with interviews with friends and family.  The result is a hoot.  Needless to say, Ms. Alpert’s success is portrayed as resting on a rather slim reed — mainly her experience as director of the annual high school musical.  One of her real-life associates, comic Julia Sweeney, appears as a fawning interviewee.” — Judy Oppenheimer, The Baltimore Jewish Times

“Writer, comedian, and performer of any and every kind, Dani Alpert spoofs Lifetime’s Intimate Portrait series by encapsulating her own life on the fringes of Hollywood.  The movie is warm, funny, and engaging as Alpert luxuriates in self-deprecating humor, highlighting her failures and shortcomings and having friends deliver very faint praise.  But the short also feels a bit desperate, a mockumentary about failing to become a star that is likely another unsuccessful stab at it.  Still deadpan deliveries, brisk pacing, amusing turns by actor friends who kind of look familiar but are hard to place — such as Dan Bucatinsky, Heather Paige Kent, Alexandra Wentworth, and Chris Williams — and Alpert’s sheer likability makes A Really Intimate Portrait a thoroughly enjoyable way to spend 28 minutes.” — Anna Ditkoff, Baltimore CityPaper

“Dani has crafted a sophisticated skewering of the cozy celebrity TV bio, and in so doing manages to be twice as interesting and ten times funnier than the form’s typical real-life subjects.  Witty, engaging, and sweetly sharp, she’s a new comic voice to reckon with.” — Don Roos,Web Therapy, The Opposite of Sex, Happy Endings

“There are few films that can tear audiences away from Johnny Depp and his open-naval puffy pirate shirt this summer. But here’s one. Comedienne/ writer/ director/ Friar, Dani Alpert, announces the premiere of her first short film, A Really Intimate Portrait … Of a Complete Unknown, which screens this month at The New Filmmakers series. The film poses the profound question, ‘How can you be a has-been if you’ve never been?’ A long time fan of the famed Lifetime series, An Intimate Portrait, and its famous (and not so famous subjects), Friar Alpert decided there was absolutely no reason why she, too, shouldn’t share her really intimate portrait. Frighteningly talented, Friar Alpert wrote, shot, edited and stars in this tour-de-force short — a veritable one-woman machine she is! The real art is going on at New Filmmakers with the screening of A Really Intimate Portrait… Of a complete unknown. We have a funny feeling she won’t be an ‘unknown’ for long.” — Alison Grambs, The Friars Club

“A laugh-out-loud, spot-on parody of Lifetime’s celeb bio show, and others like it. This film is a consistently funny spoof, and Dani Alpert is a delight to watch (and the rest of the cast is terrific too). She also does something all too rare in entertainment — pokes fun of herself!” –Click

“Very clever and very amusing!! –Click

“Funny, funny, funny. A great spin on the traditional Lifetime movie that makes you laugh and makes you wonder who the hell is Dani Alpert and why haven’t I found out about her before this?” -Click


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